When faced with the death of a friend or loved one, those who grieve most often have regrets. Of course, there is regret that the one we cared for is gone from our presence. But beyond that, there is almost always regret that we left some things unsaid.

After suddenly and unexpectedly losing my sister the day after Christmas last year, I have become convinced that I always need to share the things that are important to say while I can still say them and while others can still hear them. 

There is little I can imagine that is worse than standing beside the casket of a loved one thinking, “I should have told you that I forgave you,” or “I should have told you just how important you were to me.” There are other times when a person is alive but becomes unable to comprehend due to disease or mental incapacity. Although we would love to make them understand, they are simply incapable. 

Some sentiments are so important that it is imperative to share them before death or disability steals the opportunity. Here are some examples:

· Words of apology, forgiveness and regret

“I regret not spending time with you.”

· Words of praise, love and honor

“You will never know how much you have influenced my life.”

· Words of comfort, encouragement and challenge

“Whatever you need I’ll be here to help.”

· Words of confession, responsibility and “owning” a transgression

“I want you to know that it was completely my fault.”

Whatever you need to say…say it now. Make a phone call, send an email, or visit the person. This is a pathway to peace for you and for the other person that can’t be achieved in any other way.